Ray of Light (The Incandescent Series Book 1) Read online

  His face beams so wide I can't stand to look at him. I dart my eyes past him, my engagement photo glares at me from behind his head, I hate that it's so big. It's mocking me now.

  My own delirious, oblivious smile mocks me—it reaches into my heart and like a smiling assassin tears more of me away, as if there is still more left to break.

  I wince as David and Adam bellow with excitement, the whole room becoming intoxicated by the announcement. A swirling movement of arms looping around bodies, entwining with joyous bursts of vocal glee. I'm the only one who stays in my seat. I'm paralysed. I'm not sure I can get up—I'm a wounded doe lost in a forest on fire, she's screaming for her stag… but he's gone, long consumed by flames.

  ‘Are you alright?’ Beth's soothing whisper courses straight to my heart, her gentle and warm hands rest on my shoulders.

  For all the years I've been at Palladium with my mask firmly in place and right here it decides to falter?

  With a lump in my throat I fix the fallen mask. ‘Yeah, fine. It's wonderful news.’

  I better say something to Grant and Sarah, ‘Congratulations!’ My voice is meek and unheard.

  I don't know why I'm so upset. It was bound to happen sometime, I got caught off guard. Especially today.

  Adam makes his way to his seat, opposite me. He looks over at me and smiles. ‘Yep, fantastic news. Now, let's make a toast…’

  Everyone raises their glass and waits for Adam to continue.

  ‘Happy Birthday Seth!’ He tilts his glass in my direction and nods.

  ‘Happy Birthday Seth,’ we all echo.

  Adam's toast turns the conversation back to Seth. I can't tell whether he did it on purpose, for me, or for him, or for Seth, but I'm thankful either way.

  ‘Seth's grave needs to have new flowers by the way!’ Adam mumbles with his mouth full of chicken.

  ‘What's stopping you from changing them mate?’ Grant asks.

  ‘I wouldn't know the first thing about flowers, I just thought that people should know they need to be replaced!’

  ‘Still expecting other people to do things for you I see,’ Grant scoffs. ‘Initiative goes a long way you know.’

  ‘Screw you Grant, did you even go to see Seth today? No, didn't think so. Still running away from things that scare you.’

  ‘Alright that's enough,’ David speaks up. ‘I changed the flowers.’

  Silence.

  I smile to myself as I tuck into the delicious meal. This is how it needs to be; it wouldn't be a family dinner if Grant and Adam weren't bickering over something.

  I look up to see Adam staring at me with enquiring eyes and a smirk on his face. ‘What?’ he mouths.

  ‘Nothing,’ I mouth back still smiling.

  He flashes one of his trademark grins and my heart tumbles. He's almost the same age as Seth was when we fell in love; we were young and in a protected all-encompassing love bubble. If it wasn't for that smile they'd look almost identical. The same melted chocolate hair that falls straight against his cheekbones. The same brown deep-set eyes. The same sculpted jawline. His skin, that same smooth shade of cinnamon—soft to touch. Seth hardly ever smiled though. He was quiet, thoughtful, and serious—his sense of humour was so wry only those closest to him would know when he was joking or not. Adam is the entire opposite, all but that face. I didn’t get to see Seth's smile much, but I see Adam's all the time.

  I shouldn't be looking at my boyfriend's brother in this way. He's only seventeen and I'm twenty-three.

  Beth breaks the silence, ‘Oh, before I forget David, a young man came here looking for you today.’

  ‘Who?’ David asks furrowing his brow.

  ‘I didn't catch his name but he said he was a student of yours at the university. I've got his number,’ she reaches into her pant pocket and passes David the note, ‘he said it was important.’

  David glances at me and back to the note. ‘Would you mind if I make this call now, considering it's important?’

  ‘Not at all love,’ Beth says.

  I finish my meal and start to look around the room again; to breathe in this togetherness which fills me up so much more than food ever could. I look at Beth, fussing over the empty plates—making trips back and forth to the kitchen. I'd get up to help her but she never lets me, I'm almost tempted to stand up just so I can hear her demand me to sit my butt back down again. I turn my head to look at Adam, I bet he is on his third helping of baked potatoes. He isn't; instead I catch him looking at me. Flustered, he reaches for the potatoes and piles them onto the spot where his plate once was.

  ‘Mum! I'm still eating!’ he yells.

  I look at Grant and Sarah, they are in their own little world. The way he looks at her is heavenly. They are so lost in each other; the house could be burning down from a dragon attack and they would be none the wiser. I look at her belly, with his hand placed on it. I touch my own, I never even had the chance.

  ‘Viv?’ Adam says ejecting me from my jealous spiral of self-pity.

  ‘Mmm?’ I pretend to be nonchalant, like I'm not hanging on every word that comes out of his Seth-like lips.

  ‘I read this article the other day, about what kind of effects time travel would have on a human. I mean obviously it was hypothetical but I found it really interesting. Just the different problems they could face. Cultural growth, technology changes for example. I thought you'd find it interesting,’

  ‘What? Why?’ I ask, David wouldn't have told him anything surely.

  ‘Oh,’ his charming smiles wanes. ‘I just thought you would, being interested in psychology and all.’

  Hardly, I want to say but instead I study his puzzled face for any hint of awareness. What am I doing? I'm not at Palladium, this is family. I know he doesn't know anything about anything, his father has made sure of that.

  ‘Sorry, did you say time travel? I thought you said thyme and herbal. I’m thinking, why would I care about cooking with thyme and herbs he knows I'm a tinned spaghetti type of chef!’ Oh god, that was terrible.

  We both laugh, even though mine is fake.

  ‘You know, I probably would find that article interesting,’ I continue on the charade. ‘Do you have a link for it?’

  He stares at me way too long. ‘I'll text it to you,’ he finally says.

  I need to stop looking at him, but the resemblance has me spell bound. He's always looked like a younger version of Seth, it used to hurt to look at him but now I can't take my eyes away.

  ‘You look like your brother,’ I spit it out.

  Adam looks hurt. ‘Yeah, I get that a lot,’ he tightens his mouth like he's holding something in.

  ‘Sorry. I didn't think.’

  ‘No, it's fine!’ he says.

  I'm unconvinced.

  ‘It's a compliment that honours me… I guess it would be nice to be known and appreciated for more than who I look like.’

  ‘Adam,’ I reach my hand out to him but he pulls his own hand away from the table.

  David re-enters the room as Beth brings out a huge home-made apple pie with a tub of French vanilla ice cream. On his way to his seat he stops behind me. He places his hands on my shoulders and says; ‘just in time for Seth's favourite dessert!’

  As everyone lunges forward to serve themselves, David sits down beside me. His eyes are sparkling and I know he's received some news that will help us on our mission.

  He leans across and whispers, ‘Ross is in!’

  NINETEEN

  Vivian

  I wake up in Seth's old room, they say it's my room now but I will never settle in here, even when it's all over. They tore down his baseball and movie posters when we moved in together, and the rest of his belongings moved with us in our home. This used to be his room—it's a shell now, nothing left to hold me here. I haven't been to our home in five years, I'm either at the Palladium Fort, or at the Uprising Caverns. I know the house is still there, with all our materialistic shit draped through every room, the place reeking of memories th
at will never be made. Sarah and Grant took the cats at least, I can't bear to look at them either. I don't have time for sentimentality, it's not what will get me through—David tells me that all the time. I have no idea where I will go once this is over.

  My parents are still in India with my uncle, caring for him as he deals with motor neurone disease. I’m not sure what I’ll do when they return. The longer I hold the secrets in, the harder the truth has been to speak. I remember when I first met Seth, at university, I couldn’t wait to let them know that I had fallen madly in love.

  ‘Oh no Vivian,’ my mother sobbed down the phone. ‘This will get in the way of your studies!’

  ‘Well, actually I was thinking of taking a break. I want to put my studies on hold for a year, Seth and I will travel. I think it will be a good thing for my studies, being in other cultures—‘

  ‘She wants to quit university because of a boy!’ Mum yelled.

  I heard the phone crackle as she switched the speaker on.

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous darling, your studies are more important than love!’ Dad said.

  ‘I will still study, when we get back.’ I argued.

  ‘No, no, I won’t have it. This is an atrocity. We didn’t pack up and move to Australia for you to become an artist flitting across the world. You need stability,’ Dad said.

  ‘I thought you packed up and moved so you could start your own medical practice?’ I could hear the snark in my voice but I didn’t care.

  ‘Two reasons. We moved for two reasons. Vivian, I am serious, if you quit university we won’t be able to support you.’ Dad’s voice had its own snark in it.

  ‘Please, you don’t understand. I’m not enjoying—‘

  ‘We understand that you don’t understand what’s best for you,’ Mum chimed in.

  I became silent, realising they had made their mind up.

  They did cut me off. Not for long, but it still stung. I think they were hoping I would change my mind and they could make a big deal about being right. When I told them Seth died they were a bit more sympathetic. They still expect me to finish my course, I don’t know if I’ll do it though. Maybe. I thought about swapping majors; getting my art degree instead.

  I think that’s why I love Seth’s family so much, I didn’t have to do anything for them to accept me. Seth introduced us and I was swamped with welcome hugs. One of the first questions they asked me was what I was studying.

  ‘Psychology,’ I replied.

  ‘And how do you find it?’ Beth asked.

  I gave a side smile and shrugged.

  ‘What do you do for fun then?’ David probed.

  ‘She paints!’ Seth exclaimed. ‘She’s amazing.’

  ‘Brilliant!’ David smiled.

  ‘Oh how wonderful. I wish I could draw, but stick figures is my only forte.’ Beth said, her eyes glistening with warmth. ‘Maybe you could do something for us to fill the lounge room wall with?’

  I laugh to myself. Yes, David tells me there is no time for sentimentality, yet his family is the only thing I hold on to.

  I climb out of bed and collect the pre-made back pack waiting by the door. I'm already dressed to save time. I need to get back to Nora. It's six thirty and the house is still, rain falls down hard on the old tin roof. I hear Adam snoring in the room next to mine, it's a low hum, the base beating with the tempo of the rain-drops. Considering everyone is still asleep, I don’t need to make the spectacle of using the front door—I can use a portal orb instead. I unzip my bag, listening for anyone who could be awake, the silver on the portal orb shimmers underneath my clothes. I hug the backpack to my chest. With my hand moving the clothes aside I think of where I want to transport to, and then I touch the polished marble-like orb.

  Something is not right. I feel it as soon as I arrive. Miles' office is dishevelled and torn apart, his desk drawers open and bare. I push past the spare chair, tripping on papers and binders I almost fall into the door. My arms fling from instinct and slap the key-line, the door opens and I tumble through. I give myself no time to settle and continue to the back wall and press the key-line to the Orb Room. My legs can't go fast enough for my upper body and I topple forward, a heap of flailing limbs crashing to the floor. My palms sting as I pull myself up, knees aching to straighten. Taking a look around, everything seems to be in place here—the orbs still shimmer behind their glass casing, the vault on the left looks un-tampered with, however, the map wall is blank. I turn the computer on and try to light the map up with the dots of active orbs—the ones belonging to Palladium anyway. System Error flashes large on the screen. Miles, what have you done?

  I bring up the surveillance cameras, dozens of screens replace the error message. I get rid of all the screens except Nora's bedroom and hall outside it. I'm watching Xander as he sits on Nora’s bed scraping dry blood off his hands. A harrowing thought that something has happened to Nora. Rewind, rewind, rewind.

  With widened eyes and a loss of breath, I feel like I'm watching a thriller movie. I’ve rewound an hour of footage to find Xander at Nora’s door, looking frantic, alarmed, his hands bloodless. The time stamp tells me it’s 5:30am.

  ‘NORA!’ he's calling for her, but she isn't inside—and neither is her camera bag and that can only mean one of two things. She has gone out to catch the morning light or Miles has her, somewhere.

  Xander carves indents into his palm with his rough-cut fingernails as he knocks and knocks and knocks. He even tries to use her key-line. It lights up but nothing happens. He tries again. Nothing. I watch the frustration rise from his gut and he punches the key-line, a small crack appears on the screen and the light flashes red. He punches again, he keeps hitting the sorry excuse for a door handle until his knuckles turn red. He slams his palms hard on her door, ‘NORA!’ his voice is getting hoarse but still he strains it out. He must know if she was there she would have opened it by now.

  I think he's about to give up, retreat and call surrender—until he pulls his arm back, inhales deeply as if to centre all his energy, and with one final blow exerts his fist onto the key-line. Shards of the screen shatter through his knuckles and fingers, red flashes on the key-line, then green.

  The door opens. He steps inside and looks confused that she isn't there. He sits on her bed and looks around her room—he finally sees what I see, it's empty, completely empty. Her clothes, her laptop, her camera all gone.

  ‘She's gone,’ he cups his face in his hands.

  A cold rush of blood falls down his hand and drops on the floor. I watch it flow like a waterfall, a rampaging river crashing over rocks and rushing over a cliff, pools splashing upon themselves and into each other. That's me, I think. I've jumped over a cliff and hoped to fall into an inviting spring, yet all that I'm greeted with is blow after blow after merciless blow.

  He stands up letting his blood drip, he doesn't care. He goes to take a step when I notice something, it looks like rubbish on the ground. He must notice it too because he picks the paper up with his blood-stained hands and opens it. He opens the note with my handwriting and fingerprints all over it. Shit.

  I'm frozen in time, in a moment that should never have happened—so many moments should never have happened.

  I switch the surveillance back to present time, Xander is flying down the hall towards the elevators. I run back into Miles office, I have to get him on side and quick.

  I'm scrolling through the filing cabinet when he gets here, looking for any kind of information as to where they went.

  ‘When did you get back?’

  ‘Just then, I came in here to talk to Miles but he's gone.’ I look up and smile, it's hard to be genuine when I'm still unsure of his allegiance. I have to figure out how to know for sure.

  ‘Nora's missing too!’ he says. He squeezes his hand in front of himself, I see the pointy edges of my note soaking up his blood.

  I look at him through squinted eyes. ‘Where are they?’ I'm not so subtle with accusing him for knowing something, even though I
know it's a surprise to him.

  He puts his hands up in defeat, ‘I don't know.’

  ‘Right.’ I return to scrummage through files, there's got to be an easier way to know if I can trust him.

  He enters the room, and just like he has read my mind he purges what he knows, ‘I heard her and Miles in her room about an hour ago, he sounded… desperate. She sounded scared. I heard her say “wait” and then silence. I figured he took her somewhere, but I broke into her room anyway.’

  I ignore him, considering the genuine guttural edge to his voice. Then I think about Miles and his trustworthy eyes, sitting behind his desk as though he's the good guy, as though the chair he sits on is his rightful inheritance. Xander and Miles are friends, allies, he still trusts him but it's obvious now, Xander is on no one’s side except his own and Nora's. I stand in front of him with my chin held high and I study his face in scrutiny, will he trust me?

  ‘He must have taken his laptop. Help me with this!’ I demand. My tone is blunt and I can't help but think he's looking at me like I'm a stranger, unrecognisable to the person he knew me to be.

  ‘What am I helping with?’

  ‘Anything, any kind of clue…’

  The shift in his expression softens, ‘Viv you don't trust Miles, do you?’

  I squint at the sound of his name and I hiss in reply. ‘No, I don't trussst Milesss.’

  A single long beep resonates from the key-line as it flashes yellow.

  ‘What's that?’

  I start to replace all the files I pulled out of the cabinet and compulsively tidy Miles’ desk before I realise it was like this before I got here.

  ‘Come on!’ I urge as I push Xander out of the room.

  ‘What's going on?’ he resists.

  ‘Helicopter on the roof,’ I exasperate.

  I hurry Xander down the hallway and towards the elevator. The door opens and Professor Ladlow exits. He hasn't been here, ever. He must have known Miles has left… or Miles knew he was coming? As Ladlow is followed by his favourite guards, my body tenses at the sight of Stevens. I swallow the rock that has formed in my throat. I can’t bear to look at him without wanting to hear him scream out… In agony... As his skin forms underneath my fingernails. I train my eyes to Ladlow.