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Ray of Light (The Incandescent Series Book 1) Page 19
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‘My dad built it for me when I was eight or nine, he would say we built it together but really, I mean—he did it.’ His reminiscing face is both sad and beautiful, like he is mourning a connection that he knows he can't have again.
‘See this?’ He taps the wall to the right of him. I lean across him to read the child written carving, MILES + DAD'S FORT. Except the + DAD'S has a wobbly X scratched through it. I can't help but touch it, to feel the etching of the child version of the man beside me. I place a hand on Miles’ knee to stabilise myself and let the other hand move through the lines. I smile at the S that is twice the size of the other letters. Miles isn't watching my hand though, I can feel his eyes on me, my hair tickling my chin as his breath blows heavy and long. I turn my face to catch him in the act but he doesn't startle. He keeps staring and keeps breathing like he can't get enough air, like I'm suffocating him.
‘Sorry,’ I say moving back to my spot. I furrow my brow to myself, I'm claustrophobic but I didn't know he might be also.
Miles clears his throat and straightens his back.
‘Why the cross through your dad?’
‘I came here after my mum died, an angry and confused sixteen-year-old in a tree house. Can you imagine?’ He laughs but there is no smile on his face, ‘I didn't want it to be just me and him you know? Like I was angry at him being alive while she was not. I was angry I didn’t get the choice, if I did I would have chosen her.‘ He wipes his hands on his jeans and clears his throat again. ‘I crossed out his name the same time I did that.’ He points to the fourth wall, a broken jagged mass of wood.
I can see where the panels should be, used to be, but all that's left is a gaping hole framed by snapped wood. Through the hole and the trees, the lake shimmers over the cabin roof. I slide on my knees to the hole. I pick off small shards of wood from the broken edges. ‘I remember this pain.’
‘After I had my little tantrum in here, I realised he was all I had and that I was all he had.’
‘Are you though?’ I turn around, ‘the only thing he has?’
Miles’ head hangs down and he picks dirt from beneath his fingernails. I realise I've asked a question he doesn't want to answer.
‘Do you think you're not just trying to take the company away from him so that you are truly all he has?’
‘Nora!’ His eyebrows dig down, as if he can't believe I'd accuse him of such a thing.
‘I don’t mean…’ I begin to justify my question but my voice stalls and disappears somewhere between my heart and my tongue.
He shakes his head and goes down the ladder. I watch him scramble down as fast as he can and when he reaches the bottom he doesn't look up. He runs his stupid hand through his stupid floppy hair and walks away.
TWENTY-NINE
Nora
After a much needed breakfast, I go outside again. Now I can make the orb do what I want it to, I need to practice, make it smoother, easier, quicker. In the early hours of the morning before I upset Miles, I was full of ideas—creating and changing, moving and sparking. I look to the lake in front of me, my eyes follow the edge of the lake to the bed of rocks where Miles’ fishing gear is, then to the cliff reaching up from them.
One second, I'm remembering how the world looks from up there, and the next, I'm actually there looking down at the lake. Between the lake and my feet is the steep cliff wall, a grey vertical bridge to the sharp mound of rocks below. I spin on my tip toes and walk towards the trees, after I take about ten steps I turn around again. I can make the orb do anything I want. I say to myself.
I rock back and forth on my feet as if I'm about to start running. A small breeze fans my face and I can hear the tops of the trees behind move with me. I step back deeply and the trees reach back, we are in fluid motion. I propel myself forward and a small breeze fans my back as the trees bound back into place. I run towards the cliff and I pretend to be a gazelle, with one graceful leap plunging off the edge.
I jump further than I thought I would but it's still not enough to transcend the rocks below. My heart ascends into my throat and I let out a scream as my body plummets down.
‘NORA!’ I hear Miles yell.
And then, half way down, I squeeze the orb and collapse on the sand two metres from him.
My hair falls over my face as I roll onto my back. Black spots vignette my vision; my head feels light, like I'm in that space between dreaming and being awake. Then I feel my chest and my legs, as they begin convulsing. Warmth eases around my neck, then across my cheek as a familiar hand brushes the hair from my face. My vision goes from blurry to clear. His eyes are wide and I greet him with an exuberant smile that can’t contain my silent fits of laughter. I hold his biceps to sit myself up and I gasp between every laugh spasm.
‘Oh my god!’ I giggle, breaking my silence, ‘I probably should not have done that!’
Miles doesn't say anything. He still looks upset.
I look at him and try to breathe normal, without much success, ‘I'm sorry…’
He shakes his head and pushes my hands off his arms.
I put one hand back on him. ‘Miles. I said I'm sorry.’
He stands up and take a few steps backwards, the smile leaves my face.
‘Maybe you should practice without me around.’ He turns towards the cabin.
‘Miles Ladlow, get your arse back here!’ I demand. I won't have him leave me.
He stops for a second but doesn't turn around. ‘You're killing me,’ he says and walks off around the cabin and into the woods behind it.
What does that even mean? You're killing me. Have I hurt him that much he can't even stand to be near me? Has he suddenly realised I'm not who he thought I was, who he wanted me to be? I begin running, not you too Miles.
I feel my thighs shake with every step I take after him. I see him in the distance, as he aims for his old fort. And then, I’m there in front of the steps blocking his access with my hands on my hips and my heart on my sleeve.
I drop my hands; my words fall with them. ‘Miles! I'm not doing this without you! I'm sorry for scaring you but how the hell do you think I feel? All this responsibility and pressure. I've watched my mother leave me, I've watched Xander push me away. And do you know what? I'm sick of it. What is it about me that makes people want to run away? I am not going to let you do the same. God help you if you try! I need you. Anyone else can leave but not… not YOU!’
My words reach forward to him and instantly rush back through my chest and scratch through to my heart. They encircle it, and without hesitation I let them sink in and marinate a bit. I need him.
He lifts his hands behind his head and takes a deep breath.
Here I stand, defiant and strong yet my heart so vulnerable and open. Is this what he means, that I'm the only person for this job?
He steps towards me. ‘Nora, I was never going to leave, I was just… overwhelmed… I'm not going anywhere,’ he promises. I believe him.
The wind rustles through the branches above us, a falcon squawks somewhere in the distance. I look up above me to the broken wall in the fort, a symbol of resistance to Miles but to me the remaining walls are a symbol of hope.
‘I don't want to take the company off my Father to have him all to myself you know. I'm trying to save him too, from this war with the Uprising, he'd die to keep them in his care but I can't lose another parent.’ Then a glimmer of cheekiness mixed with honesty. ‘But thanks for giving me the question to ask myself for the last few hours.’
I learnt that from Viv. ‘Any time.’ I glimmer back.
‘Do you get it now?’ He waves his hand at the broken wall. ‘I know you didn’t understand why I had to let your dad believe you were dead. He would have begun asking questions like Xander’s parents. I couldn’t let you return without a dad to go home to. He's all the family you've got!’
‘He’s not the only family I have.’ I reach my hand to his and squeeze.
As we make our way back to the cabin, Miles starts running.
/> ‘What are you doing?’ I ask chasing after him.
‘Me?’ he laughs, looking sideways at me. ‘We… are racing!’ Then he is off, his long legs striding too fast away from me.
I'm reminded of Eli and Viv racing to get to the Corridor first—I shake my head and smile, throwing the orb up to catch it. Now I'm running backwards, closer to the cabin, in front of Miles.
‘Hey, that's cheating!’ He laughs, running past me.
I watch him run from behind, he is effortless; powerful.
I'm again in front of him and leaning against the cabin, looking at my watch.
‘What's that story about the hare and the tortoise?’ I tease, watching him break through the trees.
He jogs up with his hands in surrender, ‘OK. You win!’
I raise my hands above my head and start running in circles around his now walking body. ‘And the crowd goes wiiiiild. Woooo!’
I make two laps around him before warmth encompasses my stomach as he lifts me up and hurls me over his shoulder. He starts running towards the sand bank.
‘Where are you taking me?’ I laugh.
He only laughs back as he steps onto the sand bank and keeps going towards the lake.
‘Noooo, it's frozen, it's frozen still!’ I playfully hit his back.
His arms tense as his feet enter the icy water, like a snow cone that’s melting from the sun’s heat. He holds me tighter than ever before. Then, as his hold loosens a little and I know he's going to let me go tumbling into the frigid cold giant slushie, I grip the orb and think of somewhere softer, warmer. I fall onto the bed and he stops himself from landing on me only by his hands. His face transforms and he lets himself fall beside me.
‘I thought you'd do that sooner!’ he puffs out an icy white cloud. ‘What else can that orb do? Besides freeze lakes and cheat in races?’
‘You didn’t set any rules… therefore I didn’t cheat!’ I roll across the bed and stand up beside it, he does the same on the other side.
A jolt of movement, teasing like he will pounce any moment but I can't be sure when. His face is lit up like the sun. Then he takes a leap and he's bounding over the bed for me, I make a run for the door but something tugs at my leg. I shake my foot and the handle of my duffel bag falls off right when Miles wraps his arms around my waist. I scream and transport us again.
This time we are at the edge of the sand bank on the left of the lake, the part where sand becomes dirt and water becomes trees.
‘Oh man! A little warning next time please!’ Miles rests his hand against a tree for balance.
‘You wanted to see what else it can do, yes?’ I smirk as I urge him to follow me into the woodland. I breathe in the scent of pine and dirt.
I lift the orb and stretch my arm upwards, the orb glows as I begin to sway it side to side. The trees bend in unison with me.
‘They did this before, before you jumped off the cliff,’ Miles marvels.
I twist my wrist a little. A collective moan rumbles through the forest as tree trunks begin to shrivel and wilt. Leaves break free from their branches and float down around us. Such destruction, all from the will of a human choice. My choice. I don't feel powerful though, the opposite actually—it makes me feel weak.
A once green leaf falls into my open palm, now it's orange and falls apart from the slightest grasp. Its small, crunchy remnants scatter at my feet. I smile, it worked, and so much easier than when I froze the lake too.
‘How? You’re not even touching the trees!’
‘The USB document says that things don't change because that's what I want. I didn't think 'tree's die' and it happens. I have to work on it from the inside. My inside. I only imagine the centres of the tree trunks hit first, the rest happens all on its own. A ripple effect from one energy shift.’
I close my eyes and hold the orb above my head, my arm stretches and flexes as far as possible. Another collective moan but this time it is amplified like an explosion inside each tree, bringing them back to life. They stand upright, strong and steady. Bark overlaps itself, branches reach out, buds of leaves form, until it is covered in lush green. Thousands upon thousands of leaves, brighter and fuller than before.
‘Amazing,’ Miles says with his eyes bouncing around the tree tops.
‘Can I show you something else?’
He nods.
‘Don't freak out. Do you trust me?’
He nods again.
I disappear and he waits. He glances around to see if he can find out where I will appear. He looks out to the sand bank, across the lake, up a tree. I giggle and step closer to him; a leaf crunches under my foot. He darts his head back down, expecting to see me standing there. But he can't see me.
‘Nora?’
Small prickles scrape across the backs of my fingers as I stroke along his cheek to his jawline.
‘I'm still here,’ I say it softly.
He is tentative as he waves his hands in front of him and his wrist bangs my shoulder. ‘Heh!’
He twists his hand and follows the line of my arm up to my chin. His hand cups my face but he can't see me at all. He closes his eyes and breaths deep as I move in to his touch. I feel his fingers retract only to move back strong and definitive, they hold my head but claw at my heart. I hold my hand over his, I shouldn't but I can't help it. His hand twists again and soon his fingers are gliding up through mine. Palm to palm, digits interlocking like tendrils of two plants weaving, tightening, making a home alongside each other.
He opens his eyes in time to see me reappear, I lean closer to him. With my eyes lowered to the ground, I rest my forehead onto his chest. Our hands release from their grasp and I clench my fists around the bottom of my t-shirt, willing them to stay away from his body as he wraps his own around my back.
‘I’m gunna go,’ Miles says after he kisses me on the head.
I grimace.
‘I mean, I’m not going anywhere, I’ll just start to prepare lunch okay?’
My face softens as I whisper my response; ‘Okay.’
THIRTY
Kate
I’m so tired. I hold onto the tablet with my last ounce of energy. I’ve barely held on for three years. I mean, Viv has helped me, but still it’s not the same as real family. I rest my head on the door on the inside of the Corridor. My breath fogs up the reflective metal. In a few minutes I’ll be with my brother. My heart speeds up at the thought. I’ll be with my brother and I can finally let go. I can let go of not just the tablet but I can let go of the facade I’ve put on. For these last three years I’ve been hiding something. I am an Upriser. I can’t bear to think about Xander as he steps out of the Corridor and realises the company he so tirelessly and loyally worked for is corrupt. And not just corrupt, that they killed… they killed… My heart leaps and tears warm my eyes. I swallow hard to stop them from falling. Not yet. Just wait for Xander. Only another minute, then I can cry. I lift my clenched knuckles to my face and wipe away a stray tear.
I asked Viv to calculate the time I needed to set so I can exit the Corridor a few days after Xander does, just to make sure he will be there when I step out. But now I wish it was set for exactly the same as his, so I can see him sooner. Every second counts. Every damn second counts. But the seconds aren’t going fast enough, open you damn door, open!
My grip loosens on the tablet. Hold on Kate, just a little while longer.
I imagine his face, his eyes, the way his mouth tilts into an arrogant smile. God I loved that smile. I used to love how alike we were; how everyone said they could tell we were siblings. How mum complained every time I gave her attitude that I was turning into him. I’d give anything to hear her complain to me again.
I take a deep breath. Any moment now the door will open and I’ll see him, I hope his smile hasn’t changed.
The door in front of me makes a loud thunk. My heart pounds harder than ever. My brother, I get to see my brother!
Light streams in. A silhouette.
‘Xander?’
/>
I squint my eyes, willing them to adjust to the sunlight that blinds me. As soon as I take a step out of the Corridor someone grabs me and pulls me into their arms. I don’t have a chance to look at his face but I know without a doubt who it is. I nuzzle my head and let my tears fall. Then we are transported from the green and golden woodland into the grey Uprising headquarters.
Compared to the Palladium Fort, this place is only inspired by the people in it. It's essentially a cave system, an abandoned mine shaft made useful by bits and pieces of gathered and stolen technology. The walls and ground are bare rock. There are four large caverns; the entry at the base of the steep dug out hole, and if you keep walking through onto the opposite walk way, you'll enter the main room, and if you keep walking straight through to the opposite passage there, you'll get to the dining room. Tables of basic food like rice, porridge and bread, are put out in dishes like a buffet and everyone helps themselves when they are hungry. I've been told there is another cavern down a walkway to the left of the main area, but no one except the leaders are allowed through there. The main cavern, we jokingly call the Zen Garden, has about ten passages branching off it in no real pattern. Each path leads to scattered mini caverns, used as bedrooms, offices and, bathrooms. It's dark and cold all throughout this place, yet there is always a warm buzz emanating from the drive that we are doing something righteous here. Righteous, not in the sense that it's our way or the highway, but righteous in the sense that how can we choose any other way? There is no choice.
Xander holds me tight in the Zen Garden as my body shakes in time with my sobs. Finally! My brother, finally!
I wonder if he remembers how much smaller I used to be. My once pasty thin frame now grown and filled out. My child-like features all but a memory. I slowly break away from him, to see his face, the face that I've missed so much. I hope he can still recognise me. I hope he still sees that little girl who only ever needs her big brother, so he can let her know that everything is going to be alright.