Ray of Light (The Incandescent Series Book 1) Read online

  NINE

  Vivian

  I wait in the room for a few seconds to compose myself before walking out to join the rest of them. I sit next to Eli who looks at me derisively. I pretend not to see him and watch Seth pace along the wall, as he lifts his walkie to make sure it was working.

  ‘Seth?’ I ask. ‘Why did Palladium bring guards? Do you think they knew you were coming?’

  ‘I'm not sure. We have been careful to not let them know of our existence but I suppose, with any company there are leaks,’ He looks at me. My whole body retracts within itself, the very word makes me feel dirty. I wasn't the only Upriser hiding at Palladium. Others on a higher rank than me, who disagreed with Ladlow firing Nichols, stayed on to get inside information. I never thought any of them would give information the other way around, why would they? But then, I know how hungry for money some people become, maybe Ladlow bribed them.

  Seth continues, ‘Big men, in big suits, don't care about the little guy—they want big money. Viv, tell them about what you heard the soldiers say last night.’

  I hadn't noticed how far I stepped away from everyone when Seth outed me as a leak. A leak—the kind of person who cuts a hole in a strong and hard flowing pipe, redirecting the power and knowledge away from those that trust her. Eli and Ross are looking at me with questioning eyes. The guilt I feel can't be measured by words or numbers, only by the constant dryness that coats my mouth and flows all the way into my lungs as they struggle for breath.

  ‘They were talking about receiving orders to do something by any means necessary,’ I begin. Their stares rip my conscience to shreds. I try to justify, ‘that's why I jumped in first, to show you what it does…’ I stop and think about Nora and Xander, ‘I didn't think anyone would follow me.’

  ‘Miles was desperate for us to all get in the vault wasn't he?’ Ross says. ‘Actually, it was odd how emphatic he was about it.’

  ‘Did he care too much about going in himself though?’ Seth asked perplexed.

  ‘Well, to begin with he said we should all get in, but then when Xander suggested someone stay behind, he was all too happy to be that person!’ Ross offers.

  I look at Eli, he's quiet for once. He looks heart-broken.

  ‘Maybe he does know something,’ Seth replies disappointed. ‘Going by what Viv told us, I'm assuming you were to all get into the vault and when you were to exit… well, “by any means possible” seems to involve violence.’

  ‘Kill us?’ Eli says, breaking his silence.

  ‘You served your purpose, to retrieve the objects they wanted, without them having to risk their lives or getting their hands dirty. What would happen next? Would you leave happy, if they said “thanks and goodbye”? Imagine having twenty hard-working employees sacked just like that—without questions. Imagine the backlash when you find out what Ladlow ended up doing with the orbs, all your hard work for them to just end up in the hands of war mongers,’ he looks at Eli and Ross. ‘All of you innocent “explorers”—you deserve to know the truth.’

  ‘I don't believe it,’ Eli is shattered. ‘Miles is a good guy! I don't believe he has anything to do with it!’

  ‘I wanted to not believe it too,’ I sympathise with Eli, to the crux of my core I do, ‘but today he proved to me without a doubt that he's as dishonest as his father.’

  ‘How long until Xander and Nora exit this vault thing? We need to get out of here!’ Eli says changing the subject.

  ‘Seth?’ Robert is on the walkie, ‘I've got Miles here…’

  ‘I’ve alerted the Palladium guards to your whereabouts,’ Miles’ words spit like venom as they echo out the speaker. ‘I need my team back now. You and your team have to disappear. Switch to channel thirty-three.’

  ‘No-can-do Miles,’ Seth doesn't even hesitate. ‘They stay with me.’

  ‘Well I mean… we have a choice, right?’ Ross asks.

  Seth nods and put his finger up in Ross' direction to shush him.

  ‘There's movement in the woods!’ Robert's voice crackles back through Seth's walkie.

  ‘Is it the guards?’ Seth asks.

  Nothing.

  ‘Is it the guards? Robert? Anyone?’ Seth motions for us all to move to the corner of the room.

  A loud bang from outside.

  Seth immediately scrolls through the channels to find thirty-three.

  ‘What do you want?’ he demands.

  ‘Seth, is it?’ A familiar voice speaks. ‘This is Officer Stevens from Palladium—I have orders to keep the members of the Alpha team safe by any means possible. You will release them.’

  Seth pauses and looks at me. For the first time in almost an hour, he looks like he doesn't have a move up his sleeve. Through the front window, I can see the Palladium guards standing, their guns held up in preparation. The ripped sheer curtains dance in the breeze. They don't care that they are torn or that they cover a cracked window—their nonchalance gives me a moment of peace.

  I walk over to Seth. I wish we were back at home snuggled under a blanket together—our cats would either be sprawled on our feet or being menacing trying to eat the blanket's lose strands. We'd be debating on the gruelling choice of what movie we should watch. He would twist my hair through his finger and do those puppy dog eyes he's so good at—I'd then of course tell him we could watch whatever it is he wanted.

  ‘I didn't want it to come to this, baby,’ he says concerned. ‘I don't want to risk a fight with these people—we were meant to be stealthy; extract you all before they noticed.’

  ‘Seth!’ Officer Stevens demands. ‘Tell your unit to stand down and let your hostages go. One of your men is already down, I suggest you do as we say before any more follow his path.’

  I look back through the window. Miles runs from behind to meet them. I can hear his voice roll through the wind but I can't make out what he is saying. He stops for only a few seconds before he runs towards the front door. He bursts through, I see Felicity and Michael standing guard at the door, their guns aimed at the soldiers. Felicity is breathing short and quick through her nose. We weren't trained for this—she's frightened, unprepared, confused.

  ‘I made a mistake,’ Miles breathes out. ‘I'm sorry.’

  He hangs his head and takes a few deep breaths before motioning to Ross and Eli to come to him. He grabs my arm, he's not forceful, it's almost protective. I pull free, regardless.

  ‘Seth! Viv! Please trust me, you need to come with me.’ Miles pleads, looking at me in earnest.

  Seth is calm as he regains his emotions. ‘It's their choice, I'm not holding them captive.’

  Ross and Eli stride out the door without a second thought. I won't go. I won't leave Seth.

  ‘I'm not going Miles,’ I’m defiant. ‘My cover is blown anyway.’

  ‘To who? To me? To the boys? We're a team Viv, I’ll never out you,’ he replies.

  He looks offended.

  I step backwards. I'm not leaving.

  Miles shakes his head exasperated and takes Seth away to the other side of the room.

  I roll my eyes. A quick glance to the open front door and I see Felicity again. Her gun is still raised and her body is upright, strong, and defensive but her feet move restless underneath her. She looks sideways to me.

  ‘Felicity?’ I whisper. I want to tell her to stay strong, to stand her ground, to encourage her.

  In no less than a second, she drops her gun and jumps into the house. She stops parallel to me; her eyes are wide open as she stares into my soul. Her breath becomes shallower as it speeds up. She didn't want to be in this situation and all it took was one break in her thought process for her to escape her frozen indecisive stance.

  ‘They killed Rob…’ she starts.

  ‘You have sixty seconds to relinquish Miles and Vivian before we use force to retrieve them!’ Officer Stevens bellows.

  Felicity startles and runs, she just runs. Out the back door and into the woods.

  ‘FELICITY!!’ Seth yells moving away from
Miles.

  Miles walks past me towards the door, he turns back and nods at Seth before looking at me. If I were to guess what his eyes were trying to tell me, I'd say it was along the lines of trusting him. I feel ill. When did I become so sceptical? The real question is, was I ever not sceptical? I've never allowed myself to trust Miles, knowing who his father is, I never gave him the chance to prove himself. Did he deserve to be lumped in the same judgement his father was in? Probably not, but I could never risk it.

  ‘Vivian? Viv, listen to me.’ Seth says.

  He grabs my face in his hands and makes sure our eyes connect.

  ‘Baby, you have to go. OK? For me, this one last mission. Leave this house, go stand with your team, don't even flinch alright. To those soldiers, we are the enemy, so they need to think we are your enemy okay?’

  ‘I don't want to be away from you anymore!’ I cry. This was supposed to be it, the end of me pretending to work for Palladium.

  ‘We're never apart, my love,’ he rests his forehead on mine and places his hand over my heart. ‘Once you get back to the caverns, I'll send for you—we can go home, we'll be together. Always together.’

  I gulp a long breath, not for air but to take in his scent… his love… his aura… his soul. I break away from his grasp and turn towards the door. Like a Band-Aid right? Quick and painless. Then why does it hurt so much walking away from him?

  Eli holds his hand out to me as I approach them. Out of the corner of my eye I see two soldiers start to march to where I came from. I turn my head to see two more walk in opposite directions around the house.

  ‘Everyone out now!’ They're yelling.

  ‘What are they doing?’ Eli asks as Miles joins us.

  Miles shakes his head and looks confused. ‘Officer Stevens?’

  ‘Following orders!’ is the response. ‘Look away if you don't want to see.’

  Miles furrows his brow.

  My heart is pounding. This can't be happening.

  Michael stands alone at the front door and grips his gun, sweat rolls down his temple as he yells, ‘stop where you are!’

  The sound of a gun blast roars through the trees, scattering birds into the sky.

  ‘What are you doing?’ Miles yells.

  I feel Eli's hands clasp onto my shoulders. I try to jolt forward, I need to do something, but he won't let me go. Michael was never going to fire his gun. His position as a guard alongside Felicity was only for appearance, all the Uprisers I know are fighting for peace, not war. We stay silent. We gather evidence, work beneath the core—we weren't meant for direct combat. Yet there Michael is, slumped on the ground—lifeless.

  Another blast, and another.

  I'm screaming now.

  I scratch at Eli's hands. ‘Let me go, let me go, let me go!’

  His grasp eases but only enough so he can sheath me in his arms.

  ‘Eli please,’ I'll beg, I'll do anything. ‘Please.’

  ‘Shhh,’ I can feel his hot breath on my ear, ‘it won't do any good Viv. Shhh.’

  I don't care. I will die for him. I will die with him. Don't you care about this senseless murder? They are my friends! Eli let me go. I can't get the words out, my whole body feels weakened, like all the life in me is already gone. I let my head flop to the side like a rag doll but my eyes, I can't keep them off the door. I'm waiting for Seth to emerge, alive. My eyes are the only part of me that holds a glimmer of hope.

  My knees buckle beneath me, if it weren't for Eli holding me up I would lay on the ground and stay there forever.

  ‘You don't want to see this,’ Miles says as he moves in front of us blocking my view of the house. ‘Let's go!’

  I shake my head. I need to know.

  ‘I need to know.’

  Miles takes me out of Eli's arms and holds me against himself.

  ‘Eli, take Ross and get the chopper ready, we'll be leaving immediately.’ His voice is low and monotone.

  ‘So, Seth?’ I hear Stevens speak.

  He's alive?

  Miles tightens his hold. I can't see past him.

  ‘Any last words? Transgressions? Message for your father?’ Is he mocking him?

  ‘I have a message for your leader,’ Seth's voice stabs my heart, he sounds defeated. ‘The Uprising will come. You will live your pretty lives, in your pretty jobs, with your pretty salary and when you least expect it, it will all be gone. Just. Like. That. You won't be able to take your cash with you to heaven when you die!’

  ‘What will you take to heaven when you die, in about ahh… five seconds?’

  I gasp, and sliding through Miles’ arms I fall to my knees. Stevens kicks Michael’s lifeless body out of the way and the rest of the soldiers drag Seth through the front door. They crowd around him and push him to his knees. He lifts his dejected head up, then his eyes stare out in defiance, his inner strength returning with a single decision. And then - he sees me. The corners of his mouth barely move but I see them lift up—he's smiling for me. I want to yell; “You don't have to be strong for me baby. Get up, get up and be strong for yourself.” But I can't move and I'm unable to speak. I'm paralysed and frozen by fear.

  ‘Nothing to say?’ Stevens places the cold barrel of the gun firmly against the side of Seth's head.

  ‘Nooooo!’ I yell, disrupting the motion.

  ‘What's her problem?’ One of the soldiers asks. ‘Never seen someone die before?’

  ‘I've seen someone die before,’ Miles replies in contempt. ‘And this isn't people dying, this is inhumane and unnecessary extermination. Let him go—please? We can use him for interrogation.’

  Stevens sneers and cocks his gun.

  Miles meets me on the ground to block my view again.

  ‘Look at me Viv, remember the moment you had with him before we walked out here. Hold onto that. Replay that,’ he glances over his shoulder then back to me. ‘Now!’

  ‘We're never apart, my love,’ Seth rests his forehead on mine and places his hand over my heart, ‘once you get back to base, I'll send for you—we can go home, we'll be together. Always together.’

  I gulp a long breath, not for air but to take in his scent… his love…

  A single gun blast interrupts my reflection and jars my whole body into shock. I grasp at Miles’ shirt as he holds me in his arms. Oh god, did that happen? What happened? As I inhale the cold damp air, I can feel my heart beating blood through every inch of my body, each pound stings me like a thousand pine needles cutting deep into my skin. Do I dare breathe out? I can't hold it any longer, I don't know what I feel. Panic? Fear? Disbelief? No, the realisation is too strong.

  He's dead.

  Seth, my fiancé, my love, my life. Gone!

  I can't contain it, I exhale.

  Miles pulls my head to his chest to smother my wails. This is not how it was supposed to happen; I should be in Seth's arms celebrating our victory, not mourning him in my traitor's embrace.

  TEN

  Kate

  Three months later

  I've been staring at this blank piece of paper forever. This is such a dumb project. Tell us in one hundred words what it means to be free. I mean, isn't it obvious? I'd like to be free of this assignment, that would be super awesome. My eyes wander around my desk for an escape from it. I love my shiny bright coloured felt tip pens, Sandy gives the best gifts ever. I carefully glide the pink one out of the packet, my favourite colour. Love hearts are so much fun to draw. Oh my god, I saw the cutest pair of ballet flats with rainbow love hearts all over them the other day—I must have them.

  Ugh, the door to my bedroom is shut but I can still hear Mum and Dad arguing. They've been doing that a lot since Xander went “underground.” It's so irritating. They don't include me in any of their conversations anymore. Whenever his name gets brought up, they change the subject or ask me to leave the room. I'm not stupid, I know what's going on. We were told he is working for a top-secret team of scientists and won't be contactable for about a year. So it's been thirtee
n months and they are freaking out. Big deal. I mean, it is pretty cool and I miss him like a kid on a diet misses cupcakes, but Mum and Dad are making such a fuss over it. I hear whispers of them and their conspiracy theories, I want to tell them to either shut up or do something about it. Don't just sit here and complain.

  And now, tomorrow we are going on a holiday, or “short family trip” in their words. Not sure how it can be a family trip if Xander isn't with us, but whatever.

  What it means to be free?

  I write the first line of my assignment in luscious pink:

  To be free means that you can be who you are and do whatever you like without consequence or fear of judgement.

  No one on this earth is completely free.

  ~~~

  My ears are starting to hurt from my headset, we've been in the car for over four hours and the music has been blaring through them the whole time. I don't dare take them off, the silence from my parents is deafening. I wish they had of let me stay with Sandy instead of dragging me along on this masquerade of a holiday.

  I press my head against the window and close my eyes. If I were to be completely truthful with myself, I am worried about Xander. I hate that I haven't seen him in over a year, I hate that he hasn't called for three months, I hate that he chose to leave us behind for this stupid arse job. He's forgotten about me and to make it worse my parents have me right here in front of them and I'm barely a blip on their radar, especially these last few months. Deep down I know it's not personal, I can't hold it against them. Their son, their first-born child, suddenly disappearing. Xander wouldn't really just stop calling us, would he? He loves us, cares for us.

  I'll come totally clean, my greatest fear is that something terrible has happened to him but I try so hard to not think about it. Instead I sit there and pretend that he's fine—that he actually has forgotten about us, which hurts like hell but it's a much better thought than acknowledging that they could be right in their worries.

  I will never forget his last year living with us before he left for boarding school. I was eight and he was fifteen—although the large seven-year age gap never did stop his ability to connect with me.